Remembering to Learn. . .

I remember a time, when I spent most of my days in and out of hospitals and doctors offices. When I had allergic reactions to medications, or the doctors overdosed me with "new" drugs. I remember an old friend who told others my story so maybe they would understand my situation. I remember another who called and called until she got through to tell someone to get me to the ER.
I remember waking up on a hospital bed with the doctor standing by my side telling me that I need to tell my mother some things, and they were going to start me on some other medication. I remember my mom. . .rolling her eyes, her lips in grimace, and her hands crossed across her chest. I remember it always, somehow, was my own fault.
I remember telling myself that I must have a purpose if I couldn't end my life through means of somehow hurting myself. I remember telling myself that if I was going to make it through the good and the bad, I must learn from my mistakes and others, and never repeat. And. . .to this day, I do.
I've learned that no matter how desperate I get to have just one good friend, no one will ever be able to hear me like my family does. Nor will they understand.
I've learned that although, people seem to be nice and/or fun at first. There is always a little bad in everyone. So, I must keep my guard up.
I've learned that I'm no exception to that rule.
I've learned that the ones closest to you will hurt you the most, and most of the time, they won't even know they have. Give those that matter second chances, but don't set yourself up to be hurt like that again.
I've learned that some--if not, most--people NEVER change. And, if they do, I can't change them. I can only be the "change" that I want to see in them. . . and pray.
Discernment. . .One word. More powerful than 1,000. A gift that only few possess. And only a few of those who possess it, actually use it.
I've learned that people either have book smarts or they have common sense. And Knowledge and wisdom is not the same as either one of those. These two only come with experience. Common sense and BookSmarts are innate.

I've learned whether it's one thing or ten things that I learn in one day. They are all as important as each other. And that acknowledging these learned things, gives me knowledge and power and strength.
A strength that is more powerful than any physical strength.
A knowledge that helps me make it through the next day.
And a power that is only as powerful as its beholder.